@Tara Jayne Wade Hey Tara- oh honey there is never any pressure at all to share photos on here, it is a completely personal choice whether you do or not, and there is never any judgement either way!! So please do not feel in any way bad about that.
Maeve is absolutely an inspiration for this type of journey- if you go back over her insta posts she has one from early January and one from December specifically addressing this kind of challenge, if you read both of them it might help? Esther who does the yoga also has similar
Now I don't have your experience so I don't want to say too much in case I speak out of turn or say anything wrong, but in terms of the workouts think of what you might be/will achieve by increasing your strength- progressing in slide-planks, mountain climbers, burpees, lifting a slightly heavier weight, being able for more reps, not having to pause to catch your breath during a song where previously you had to. This progress means everything, it's less tangible to measure in terms of photos, scales and measurement but for me it is the one that has the most impact in terms of my headspace, and it is what sticks with me longer-term than if i have a reaction to a photo.
It's a hell of a challenge dealing with that niggly voice in your head, and from your perspective it has had a strong influence in the past so it is so hard to even try to move past that- but you are here, you are showing up and you are trying. Taking a step back, without any input from the voice (or trying to)- on a day by day basis, are you enjoying the workouts? If yes then try to focus on that, and how you might feel if you did make the decision to stop them?
Be so so so kind and gentle to yourself, all the compassion! What you are going through is so difficult, so try your best to not berate yourself too much or make it any worse. You did so good to reach out, and hopefully you will get some hope from responses. You are not alone, you have all of our support. We are here for you in whatever form you need us to be. If you felt up to it maybe try todays yoga (I'm going to do it myself now shortly!) - Esther is a fabulous, inspiring and calming presence. The yoga is a lovely gentle stretch, but also if is so calming for your mind especially with how Esther does it, and I find it so wonderful
Take care of yourself- massive big virtual hug from me xxx
