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Disclaimer

You should understand that when participating in any exercise or exercise program, there is the possibility of physical injury. If you engage in this exercise or exercise program, you agree that you do so at your own risk, are voluntarily participating in these activities, assume all risk of injury to yourself, and agree to release and discharge Maeve Madden from any and all claims or causes of action, known or unknown, arising out of MaeveMadden.co.
The information provided is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Never disregard professional medical advice, or delay in seeking it, because of something you have read on this website.  Never rely on information on this website in place of seeking professional medical advice.
Maeve Madden (MaeveMadden.co) is not responsible or liable for any advice, course of treatment, diagnosis or any other information, services or products that you obtain through this site.  You are encouraged to consult with your doctor with regard to this information contained on or through this website.  After reading articles, watching videos or reading other content from this website, you are encouraged to review the information carefully with your professional healthcare provider.

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Finding myself | MaeveMadden
  1. Forum
  2. Queen Chat
  3. Finding myself

Finding myself

  • BM

    Hiya all,

    Firstly I'm so glad I came across Maeve on Insta.  It really has given me a very much needed boost. I've just come out of an abusive relationship after my partner attacked me back in September. Pre the relationship I was very fit, very confident and most of all happy with myself.  Right now I'm completely the opposite. My confidence altho now getting better has been knocked from 3 years of name calling and put downs. I have gone up 3 dress sizes from a size 8 running half marathons and hiit training to a size 14.  The last two weeks I have been completing the workouts & for the first time in years I Have started to feel like myself. This week I'm struggling. Lockdown. Home schooling and I'm full of cold as daft as it sounds has set me back. I feel down in the dumps again, struggling to get out of bed. This group feels like my kind of people and I just need the encouragement to move my ass and pour this wine away!! And hear anyone else been through similar x

  • Shannon Lawless

    @Becca Marshall First off you are one strong ass Queen to find courage to leave that situation!! I bow down and applaud you girl🙌 I've never been in a situation like this myself so I can only imagine the strength and bravery it has taken to not only share this but also build yourself back up again! I mean if you can do that missus you can do anything!! Now I can relate to the lockdown and homeschool and just general feeling like shit so here's what I do.. set a certain amount of time you allow yourself to feel down say like 1day and then get back on it. Have a nice luxury shower/bath I'm talking hair masks face masks whatever mask you got light some candles stick on some tunes ( gals night playlist on Spotify for me 😂) anything that boosts your mood and when it comes to workouts just promise you'll try 10mins if you wanna leave it after that then leave it but usually you forget you ever wanted to quit!! Hope this helps and isn't to long winded 🙈 You got this Queen 💜 remember we might fall down but queens don't quit!

  • BM

    @Shannon Lawless I always said anyone raised their hand to me or disrespected me then I would leave immediately. It's been so tough. Never will I judge again I had a breakdown and without my kids god knows where I'd be. Desperate to get back to myself so I keep pushing. It's just exhausting. Thank you for your encouragement and kindness, tomorrow is a new day. We all probably have to stop been so hard ourselves in these strange times. Queens absolutely do not quit and I will take your advice lovely thank you  xx

  • LC

    @Becca Marshall Oh my goodness Becca I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Completely agree with @Shannon Lawless - well done you for having the bravery to leave that situation for yourself and your kids. And be kind to yourself - you've been going through all of this in the middle of a pandemic as well, it's completely normal to feel that some days aren't great or like you've got too much to cope with. You're doing amazing!

    I've never been with anyone physically abusive thankfully but I've definitely been with guys who have commented on my weight or looks and for me, exercising and queening with Maeve has made it feel like the biggest F U 🖕🏻 to those guys who were hurtful. So maybe see QDQ as your recovery and healing time, you can't pour from an empty cup but you also need to rest when you're sick. So take a few days and then come back and do what you can do - that's all you can ever ask of yourself xx

  • Carmel Mulvany

    @Becca Marshall oh Queen, firstly you are so amazing and brave like the girls have said for sharing this and getting through a really tough battle!! You have gotten out of a bad situation and now you need to focus on you....which you have probably never done before.  This doesn't come naturally when you haven't put urself first b4!!!!

    BE KIND TO YOURSELF. we are in a pandemic/lock down and this is not normal for anyone, let along someone who has had to change their whole life.

    I too am going through a separation, something I thought would never happen to me. I don't know what to be doing or saying, don't know what's right or wrong. Its very hard when we can't visit friends and family and hash things out over a tea. I feel very alone most of the time but I find this is my outlet, my release! My exercise is something 4 me and I love chatting with all you queens! It has helped me hugely!

    Keep at the workouts,  build urself back up queen! You have done the hard part by removing urself from the bad situation you were in.... now time to focus on you! Get stronger,  get confident again and most importantly.... feel happy again! 

    We are all here to help each other and hold those crowns up!!!! Sending you lots of love 💘 ❤ 

    Carmel mulvany

  • BM

    @Shannon Lawless I always said anyone raised their hand to me or disrespected me then I would leave immediately. It's been so tough. Never will I judge again I had a breakdown and without my kids god knows where I'd be. Desperate to get back to myself so I keep pushing. It's just exhausting. Thank you for your encouragement and kindness, tomorrow is a new day. We all probably have to stop been so hard ourselves in these strange times. Queens absolutely do not quit and I will take your advice lovely thank you  xx

  • Sharon Scully

    @Becca Marshall I am in utter awe of your strength of character, your will, and your determination! I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years, it was like living with jekyl and hyde and I put up with it until he dumped me! So I can relate in some teenty tiny form

    Firstly- it is only February now, you have been on a MASSIVE journey in just only a few months, give yourself a huge amount of credit for where you have gotten to in a short space of time. The upheaval, the change, the emotional drain- during a bloody pandemic!! You are doing amazing to be just upright, honestly be so so proud of yourself. Again- I am in awe of your strength and coping skills

    It's normal that when you are feeling a bit unwell you feel you are taking a massive step backwards, but realistically you are not (you don't gain progress quickly and you don't lose it quickly). You have had 2 weeks where the workouts have been helping you physically and mentally, and you will have a bazillion more weeks where that will happen again - I promise you that. Right now focus on what is needed to get you better- maybe you do need a week off the workouts? Or if you feel you are able do some of the lower tempo ones, the strength ones, the yoga and pilates. Once you are moving at all you are smashing it, it doesn't always need to be the workout leaves you out of breath that achieves that. Don't hold the workouts up as something you need to do to be fit and strong, have them as something you want to do as they are part of your new lifestyle, but recognise that we all need rest & recovery days too (some weeks/months more than others) and that is perfectly acceptable and part of the journey. 

    I'm very glad you reached out, and I hope you are too. One hour at a time, leading to one day, leading to one week etc etc - you are rebuilding a life for you and your kids, and it is going to be so amazing. For now you are still working through trauma and likely will be for as long as it takes (and never put pressure on yourself to have gotten past any of this any quicker than you are- it takes time), but you will get out the other side. YOU CAN DO IT! We are always here for you xxx

     

  • Sharon Scully

    @Carmel Mulvany I just wanna reach out and give you a hug right now!!!! You are doing amazing, you are always so lovely and positive here and so helpful. A difficult experience at the best of times, let alone now. I feel so much for you. You seem to have some of it sussed in terms of what is working for you, and I'm so glad you have this as an outlet. If you ever need a rant feel free to send me a direct message, honestly. You got this queen xxx

  • BM

    @Carmel Mulvany it has been hard, normally we'd be out with girlfriends or visiting family to keep us busy to get through it wouldn't we. I hope your coping ok. This situation is making me wrestle with my thoughts good and bad some nights I miss him. Some nights I think of the abuse the cheating and the violence and get angry. So glad I found this page. Just gonna finish my coffee & get my arse into gear!

  • BM

    @Sharon Scully yess!!! I was with him 3 years and it was exactly that. It was like living with two people. The loving one and the lying cheating abusive violent one. I thought I was going mad at one bit and questioned myself. I got help from the dr after it happened but the tablets made me feel numb and I didn't want that.  When I'm met him I was confident and fit and content in my life. I want to feel that way again. Exercise has always been my coping mechanism which is why I'm getting frustrated that I can't push myself at the min.  Thank you so much for your words. I'm gonna get my ass into gear in a min. Workout home schooling then a walk with my 5 year old. Xxx

  • SB

    @Becca Marshall keep putting one step in front of the other. Big steps or small steps they will all get you there. On the days you lack motivation or desire to get up, try five minutes of one of the classes. Then if u feel like stopping do, but more than likely you will keep going. It was awful to read about your story but it happens. It's not your fault. You deserve to feel strong and loved. There are many strong,positive women on here that will lift you and support you. Sending big hugs.

  • Carmel Mulvany

    @Sharon Scully awh thank you so so much, that's means the world to me honey!!! You really d best bunch of queen's ever!!!! Love you all so much xxxx

    Carmel mulvany

  • Carmel Mulvany

    @Becca Marshall well queen reach out, any day you are struggling!!!! You really go through all the feeling of grief, loss, sadness, anger, denial!!!! Thats all part of it I think! I have received such amazing support here,  its my safe place and I'm so glad you feel the same!!! We will get through this queen.....1 day at a time!!!! Stay strong! 

    P.s I've done no classes yet, gonna be a busy evening!!!!! Xxx

    Carmel mulvany

  • Niamh Byrne

    @Becca Marshall Aw queen you are so so strong and I just would love to give you a massive hug ❤️ It really does take small steps recovering after a separation in any relationship, I feel like you really need to try and be kind to yourself queen, there will be good days and bad days but take this time to focus on you 💛 Take one day at a time, you will get back to your strong, fit and confident self but healing takes time so please go easy on yourself! We're all here for you and you can absolutely pop on here at any time for the chats or whtever you need. I'm so glad you're getting back into working out and that it's allowing you to feel a little like yourself again and take some time away from the world. I genuinely think I'd be in a massive hole if it wasn't for Maeve and the queens since the first lockdown. We all support each other here and I just love it so much 💕

    Abusive relationships are very difficult to talk about and I'm so glad you've reached out. if you are really struggling don't be afraid to contact your GP too! When I was younger I was in a relationship that only lasted a year but it was just full of him wanting his way, threats, cheating and the works. I feel like during that relationship was the stage when I really started to struggle with mental health issues also and the constant knocks to confidence didn't help the matter at all. I feel that like a lot of people in these types of relationships, I blames myself, I figured 'well of course he's going to be mad at me because I'm expecting to much of him' or 'of course he's going to cheat on me because look at me, he deserves to be with someone better who isn't suffering with their mantal health' or 'why wouldn't he ignore me for days on end when I'm feeling upset or anxious because who'd want to spend time with me anyway'. I let all the red flags go by and still stayed in the relationship for months after the first red flag. I was so upset for so long after the relationship ended and it had such an impact on how I felt about myself and my mental health really struggled. I know I'm still very young so this would've been my late teens but I feel like it was so hard for me to tell people about what had happened and I found myself wondering if that was normal and thinking I obviously wasn't worth anything after all the cheating and lying. I had feelings for years of not being good enough and being so insecure. I feel like it just has such an impact on a person and I can't imagine how hard it is when it happens in a longer relationship. I'm so glad you found Maeve's page and I really hope you start feeling like yourself again continuing with the wrkouts queen. We're all here for you if you need anything at all! Sending you virtual hugs so so much love queen ❤️ You're amazing and so strong ❤️ xx

  • Niamh Byrne

    @Carmel Mulvany Aw Carmel I wish I could reach through my laptop screen and give you a big hug! ❤️ You're always such a ray of positivity on here and I have so much love for you! I can't imagine how hard it is especially with everything going on in the world as the cherry on top! You are so stong queen and I'm so glad that QDQ is helping you a wee bit ❤️ I'm absolutely always here queen if you ever need anything even through DMs. Sending you so much love queen x

  • JH

    @Becca Marshall Hi Becca, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that and I think you’re just amazing for getting to where you are now. It takes real strength to do that and you clearly have it in spades, you’re a great role model to your child. It won’t be long until that’s reflected in all areas of your life, and the exercise will help you get there whenever you can do it. Self care is so important, whatever that means to you, a workout, a luxury bath /shower, a walk on the beach, a full cup of hot coffee (hard when there are kids to kind!). Try to fit something small in that will make you feel good and build on it. Day by day you’ll get there. Take care and get rid of that cold - that on top of lockdown, home schooling and everything else you’ve had going on is tough, but you’re doing great, don’t forget it! 👑

  • JH

    @Carmel Mulvany ah Carmel, that’s tough to be going through, especially now when you can’t get to other people the way you would in normal circumstances. You’re always so positive for everyone, you’ll get through this difficult time and come out stronger xx

  • JH

    @Sharon Scully Hi Sharon, I’m sorry you had to go through that situation too. It’s such a difficult place to be and it takes  strength to get out of it, amazing! 

  • Carmel Mulvany

    @Julianne Hickey thank you so much!!! The kindness and love here is outstanding!!!! Xxx

    Carmel mulvany

  • Carmel Mulvany

    @Niamh Byrne love you so much queen!!!!! You have all been such a support, I can't even put it into words!!!!! Xxxxz

    Carmel mulvany

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